I hope you're not using that toilet, it's broken....No, I was just shaving!

To begin, this may be my most explicit post yet...you have been warned! Don't judge me...

Since being sick I haven't worked out or gone running, its been about 2 weeks since I've had any real physical activity. On top of that, all the antibiotics really messed up my system and I've been pretty...irregular to say the least. The antibiotics gave me delightful diarrhea for a few days and then dried me up. (I warned you!) This past week my stomach has been pretty upset, I've been so crampy and bloated. Then last night I got the great idea in my head that I should take some laxative to help me get regular again, don't ask me where I got that idea from, it must have been an epiphany! Let me preface this by saying, I have never taken any laxative before and really wasn't sure what it would be like but figured it would help my little tummy.
So we get home from our friends house and I rummage through my mother-in-law's medicine cabinet and finally find dulcolax, score! I take the box to the kitchen, fill up a big glass of water and take out the pills, which are tiny! They look friendly, like mini m&m's and the box says to take between 1-3 pills so take 2 thinking it will help more than 1 but be less than 3, whatever 3 does.
I wasn't sure how dulcolax worked but found out soon enough! Within an hour I was woken up by sharp aches in my stomach, I ran to the bathroom and nothing happened so I went back to bed. I woke back up at 3 and ran to the toilet, I was so mad that I was awake at 3 and dreading work in the morning but also laughing because I kept thinking of Harry on Dumb and Dumber when Lloyd gives him laxatives and he dominates the bathroom only to find out the toilet is broken (don't worry, my experience was not that bad!)
After going to the bathroom again at 4 and 5:00 am I discovered that dulcolax works, but I don't like it and probably will never take it again because it hurts my stomach. But my stomach is 100 times better this morning, not bloated or crampy! Maybe I need to find a more subtle laxative like miralax or something, I'll have to look into that.