Monday, August 6, 2012

A change on my perspecitve

Due to some recent events, I've been thinking a lot about how quickly life can change and your whole world can be turned upside down.
On Saturday I attended a beautiful but heart breaking memorial service for my friend Jaicy's baby. I was never able to meet this sweet spirit who was only here for a short 19 days but could feel what a beautiful spirit she was. It was heart breaking to see a little of what Jaicy and her husband Evhret have been going through. They are so strong and have been a support to everyone else around them through this tough time.
Another experience that opened my eyes to how precious life is happened 2 weeks ago. I started getting sick on Sunday night thinking I had a kidney infection, like what the doctor thought I had back in February, so I called a new doctor and went in Monday morning, my sweet husband was so worried about me that he came home from work to go with me. All the tests came out negative and she sent me home thinking I was just getting a flu. Within the next 24 hours things started getting worse. My back was so achy I couldn't sit or lay down comfortably, I was so nauseous, I couldn't turn my neck, my throat was starting to hurt...literally you name it, I was feeling it. So Tuesday I went back to my doctor, this time with my pit bull of a mother and the doctor sent me to get blood work and x-rays. After 3 hours of this I went home. All I could do was take ibuprofen for the back pain and after taking it about 2 or 3 times it stopped helping. That night got significantly worse. I was laying on the couch watching tv and noticed the my hands were numb and tingly and my heart was beating so fast. I got nervous and called my mom who told me to call my doctor, even though it was 10:30 at night. She told me to monitor it for the next hour and see if it got better or if I could fall asleep and then if not maybe go into the Emergency Room. After laying in bed for what seemed like an eternity Mark decided we were going to the ER. I was so nervous, I had never been to the ER and I felt stupid. People go to the ER when they are in a car accident and covered in blood. I started crying and told Mark I felt dumb, what if I was fine?!
When we got to the ER they didn't even let me sit down to sign in, they rushed me right into a room and hooked me up to monitors, oxygen and an EKG. My heart was beating so fast, about 140-150, Mark said I was a humming bird. That night is a big blur to me (well, most of the rest of the experience is a blur) but they took more blood, did another urine sample, did another chest x-ray because they thought I had a blood clot in my lungs and finally a cat-scan (which is the most blurry of the whole thing, it was 4:00 in the morning and all I can remember is that the guy said to put my arms up and it would feel warm and like I peed my pants. I thought for sure I peed everywhere but was too tired to care. I didn't actually pee, it was just the dye they put into me, but I don't remember them shooting me up with dye...)
After that they sent me home with no answers. Both Mark and I were able to sleep for a few hours until I woke up and felt even worse. We didn't know what to do so we called my doctor and she was furious that the ER sent me home and she told me to go back. So back to the ER we went. This time my doctor called ahead and spoke to an infectious disease doctor and told her to make sure I was admitted to the hospital from the ER so she could see me and do tests.
Once in the ER and hooked back up to all the machines they took even more blood, I met more doctors, had to tell my symptoms to what seemed like 100 nurses. My mom and mom-in-law both came to make sure the ER took care of me and figured out what was going on. After being in there all day, running all sorts of tests and being given an iv and some antibiotics through the iv, the doctor came in and told me the tests came back positive for staph infection. I have no idea how I got a staph infection. I had no idea how serious it was. But recently I've heard so many stories similar to mine where people go to the ER, they do the same tests on them as they did on me and send them home thinking it's a flu and they die within 24 hours. I'm so glad we went back to the ER because who knows what kind of shape I could have been in.
I was in the hospital for 4 days with Mark constantly there, I had to pretty much beg him to go home and take a nap and shower. My family was always there visiting and making sure I was ok. I feel so blessed to have such a strong support system who is willing to drop everything to be by my side. While I was in the hospital I realized how much I take for granted my health until I'm sick.
The last day I was in the hospital I was so excited that I could finally stand up without having to double over to keep from throwing up. I even took a couple victory laps in the hall (ok I wasn't running or anything, but it was exciting to be able to walk through the halls again.)

Sorry for the novel on my experience, but it was scary! It really has given me a new perspective on life. I want to appreciate every day I have with my husband and family, forget the little stuff because it's not worth it to bicker or even be mad for one minute because you or they could be gone in a second.

I'm grateful for my knowledge of the gospel and that I know life here is just a short spec in the eternal scheme of things. I'm so blessed to have the amazing husband, mother, father, sisters, grandparents (my grandma Bev called our hospital room, how she got the number I have no idea, and threatened to get on a plane and fly out to be by me, when she had her own surgery coming up in just 2 days, I love that woman) and in-laws that I do. A huge thank you to my family for taking such great care of me, every single one of them.

2 comments:

  1. Wow. You went through a lot! I'm glad you're feeling better now. :)

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  2. Glad you are ok, Kelli! That is so scary!

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